Thursday, January 31, 2013

Another big fat punjabi wedding ...

Writing anything about a Punjabi wedding would sound cliche´d. Doing everything over-the-top from food to dresses to dancing, to the overall madness. I am sure anyone reading this post would have experienced at least one Punjabi wedding in his/her life or at least read/heard about it. So, let me not bore you with the general stuff. I will try to stick only to the specific event around my D-Day. Although I have always tried to follow the rule of not writing anything from my personal life here but then I have to also respect what George Bernard Shaw once said, "The golden rule is that there are no golden rules". So, let me pen down some incidents which might bring back memories when I read them here 10-20 years from now.

The Prelude: I reached India many days before my religious marriage ceremony so that I could do a court marriage to apply for my wife's visa in advance. There is not much twist in the story as there was in my back. A couple of weeks before leaving for India, I had a slip-disc problem. So, I reached India with pain in my back and my leg. I went to the doctor the next day after landing and he advised me not to bend and sit crossed leg on the floor. As soon as I heard that, I chuckled. And there was an "Yeah right !!" expression in my head. Imagine a wedding without bending to touch the feet of the million of uncle and aunties who would come to greet the newly wed. And a religious wedding without sitting crossed leg? Are you kidding me? Asking the priest to change that part would be like asking Mr. Ahmadinejad to close down his nuclear program. The doctor advised to take precautions.

The Invitations: The preparations started with the distribution of invitation cards. I personally feel that this is the toughest part among all preparations. Making the list, not forgetting anyone, to personally go and invite everyone even though you have not met them for ages and even though they live in the remotest part of your city. A personal visit is a MUST! One night, during the card distribution phase, lying in the bed with a bottle of hot water under my back to ease my back pain, I felt so amused comparing the contrast of life and culture between India and Germany. To visit anyone at his place in Germany would require an appointment to be made well in advance and not just banging into their house at any time of the day as in India. Even after invitation lists being made well in advance, sorted out according to the various regions of the city, according to preference in delivery, it took like forever to distribute them.

The Dresses: One of the things with which I am most amazed in my life is that why my dad has a single cupboard of clothes compared to the three which my mom has, not to mention. An almost similar experience I had with women during wedding. My mom, aunts, sisters, cousins all had a different dress for each meal at least for the last 2 days of the wedding! I am pretty okay with that but even though all of them knew 3 months in advance about the wedding, still most of them were still going for trials till the last moment.On top of that there was enough drama with the tailors. Some of the dresses were not made up to the expectations of the women. There was a lot of crying and moaning. New dresses were then ordered 3 days before the wedding. Aunt from Ambrika calling my Mom at 2 a.m. IST 4 days before the wedding and giving her measurements to order dresses for her, Cousin from Ambrika coming hours before the Shagan ceremony and 5 people going with him to sort out all his dresses for each event of the wedding. I mean, it was complete madness on the dresses front!    

More to come in the next post .....

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Taking the Turn

I am a person, who like Sheldon Cooper does not like changes. Of course not to his lunatic extents but yes, I like to settle in and soak life as it comes rather than running after it. It is no wonder that I am working at the same place for about last 5 years. As per many of my friends in India, it is a career murder approach. But still, I am fine with what I have at the moment. I am a man of limited needs.

Life had been going on as usual. I had no complaints. I was going to regularly to work. Coming back home on time. Using my spare time for many other activities with which I keep myself busy. Calling home regularly. Going out to occasional dinners with my friends. Traveling whenever I got chance. But suddenly, things happened. Many of them at a time. It was quite overwhelming to see so many changes happening simultaneously with me. On one end of the spectrum, I was embracing the changes and on the other end, I was dead scared. I will not lie. That was September!

Then came December. I got married last month. Life finally took that turn

I had been relatively non emotional and with almost null sentiments since the last 10-15 years of my life. It is not that I was not enjoying life. But somehow, I feel that I had restricted myself and kept many things by myself. Most of all, I feel that I had detached myself from many things and many people like my family. Of course, I used to talk to my parents and my sister and my family but somehow I had avoided getting into that "moh" as we call it in Hindi (Cant find a direct English translation). 

But after taking that turn, things changed, life changed. Like everyone else, I used to love my parents and my family. But now, I have started loving them more. I have started missing them more. The pull of going back to India is at a level like never before. Priorities have changed in life. And truly speaking, I am amazed at myself. I had never imagined that I would change that fast, that priorities will change that fast. And it is not under any pressure, but naturally coming to me.

Even at -5 degrees with my car under a blanket of snow which has be cleaned before I can use it, I am not complaining. Things like this did not happened before!

There is so much I can write right now but I would try to control my feelings. Maybe some other time :)
P.S: Though none of my family members know about this blog but still if they see it, I would like to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for the wonderful time last month and for the super great wedding party!!